Fantasy Hurts




I feel powerless, unable to control my feelings and mind. Some say it's OCD, others say it's more powerful than sleeping paralysis. My mind has reach a point of no return. Hard to control my pulses on unnecessary feelings. I look in the mirror and I see a blurry image. Dripping wet with anger and rage. I find no shade to rest upon, i find no shrink to squeeze my mind in a pinhole. My mind is out of control with no remote to control. I think i'm over smart or maybe i think i'm over dumb. Too blind to live in the reality. Living in a fantasy, the glass is so thick and shiny to the extent that i feel there is no amount of reality can break through this fantasy. I walk around the four corners of this fantasy world with a heart full of hymns and symphony but i see no reflection of me, only ladies and porn are my four sided reflection. I can't see myself. I take too much time off my life and dedicate to these reflections and all i get is a mere smile and a never ending orgasm. Nothing productive, no quality nor quantity i see in these reflections. I try to turn around and break through these walls  yet porn and women are throwing petals on my soul, singing me songs with praise and thanking me for throwing away my real reflection. Poor you, poor you young man, for there is nothing that I can find in this city and these walls, and there is no amount of refraction that can bend my soul around. Somebody break me free for my hands are made with feathers and my feet with shallow waters. Unable to defend myself and protect myself. I have over lived my comfort zone. How things have changed, for now i can't see beyond these walls with my eyes opened wide. I can only see the beautiful city of reality through within. There is no need for eyesight and there is no need for hindsight, for these eyes only see wrong images and wrong reflection of the self therefore, I can only find refuge in foresight and insight. Somebody turn my eyes around and let it look deep inside, for there is liberty and freedom found within. God help us all!

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